From the time my EPT read positive
I felt joy and fear
Was I ready to be a mother?
All went smoothly until...
I was riddled with unexplained bleeding
I feared the worst
Day after day things became difficult
I became sick
My layoff, death of a cherished pet
could I bear losing a child?
No, I could not
A poke to the belly told me you were a girl and alright.
soon I went gestational diabetic
I wasn't surprised as it runs in the family.
Bleeds continued
so heavy I thought you must be leaving me
On strict bed rest now
I could no longer care for you or me
Fear grew as you did, nights long and lonely
only doctors and nurses with so many interns
I was on display
Only allowed out of bed to wash, use the toilet and see doctors
wheelchair bound, I was imprisoned
One night I felt you
two large kicks that stole my breath
I felt cold as I never had before
my water had broke, you were coming
I was aware of the contractions but numb to the pain
in 45 minutes you were here
Fear washed over me like a dark sheet
I didn't hear you cry
My husband held my hand
I asked through my haze "Is she OK?"
he smiled and said "She is fine and beautiful."
I wasn't able to hold her I was torn and bleeding heavily
Doctor on my belly, frantic hands to remove the placenta
I could not die, she needs me
Doctor held up the placenta with its extra lobe
"you'd have twins if you were able."
I smiled, my father is a twin
I was sewn up like a ripped doll.
bags dripped coagulant and antibiotics into my blood steam
amazement shrouded me as to how anyone could survive this
I was told I should have a blood transfusion
fear of disease, I said no
I would deal with the dizziness
I realized we were both born that day
she was alive and I was stronger than ever
Been nearly nine years now, much has changed
we have loved, learned and grown together
clearly a miracle, one I will not soon forget
I am blessed by this little one who came from within
